Two Things

Two things: One is good, one is not so good.  Which do you want first?


I'll start with the not so good, because it is how I am currently feeling.  
-On Tuesday, Teen Mom was on.  A show that I love.  It's a guilty pleasure. (For real, Bently is the cutest baby ever).  So, anyway, Caitlyn got super insecure over Tyler.  He wanted to go out, she doesn't like it because she gets jealous.  I'd be lying if I said that I don't relate.  Because I do.  Very much.  Now, she gets jealous because she is very insecure about herself and her looks.  And well, right now  so am I.  I don't feel it all the time.  Sometimes I love myself.  Everything about myself.  But then, I go on Facebook.  I see these cute girls that Tyler is friends with.  He's making new friends and that's great.  But they look so awesome. They are edgy and quirky.  I'm, not.  I'm quiet.  I listen, don't partake.  I observe.   I'm pretty conservative in my clothing.  I'm plain.  Don't make a statement with my looks.  Why, then would he even want to be with me when he could have something more fun?  That's my question.  It's never that I don't trust him.  I do.  And I know Ty loves me.  It's just, why does he?  And why does he stay when he could have so much more than boring old me?


(Disclaimer:  I do not always feel this.  And I'll get over it.  I just needed to write it)


And on to the good.
-I have always set goals for myself.  I may have written another post about it, actually.  I make goals for myself, and I achieve them when I want it.  I set goals in middle school that I didn't even remember, but I achieved them anyway.  The only goal I've never been able to achieve is running.  I've never built up my stamina the way I really want.  Never.  However, I am changing that.  I've found a program that will start me gradually.  I went to the gym in between classes today, that's how dedicated I am to this.  I really want to finally reach my goal.   I want to be in shape.  I want to be leaner. 
     I also realized that when I was thinner, I thought I was big.  But I wasn't.  I am now actually as big as I thought I was, and I want to be how big I actually was.  Now,  a size 10 isn't big, I know.  But I want to be a size 7 again.  I want to have muscle again.  That's my goal and I will accomplish it this time.


So, what have I learned?  Tyler loves me for me.  Not my looks.  He loves me because I set goals, because I am determine.  I'm quiet, like him, but together we have so much fun and laugh out loud.  I love me because I am a goal achiever.  I am beautiful.  I make a statement with my words, and my style because it isn't like the rest of the world.  I have fun, just not everyone's idea of fun.  I like to dance.  I love to read more though.  I sing to myself in the car and one day I will sing like that in front of people.  That's why I love myself.  I am a constant work in progress.


"My life, is a constant work in progress and I wouldn't have it any other way."
-Set Your Goals