Mental Case

I broke down this weekend.  I woke up on Saturday and was so homesick I couldn't even think straight.  So I ran home.  Or at least I felt like I did.  I packed my bags in five seconds and left without telling anyone but my roommate..  I've never been more determine to get anywhere before.  I just wanted to leave.  I cried pretty much the whole way there.  And then when I left I pretty much cried the whole way back.  I don't know.  Is this worth it?  What's the point of struggling?  Am I making a hasty generalization? (Learned that in "math")  I just need to breath.........


"The more I see the less I know,
But I know,
One thing,
That I Love You."

I miss you...

I am feeling a little homesick.. I miss my puppy and my boy.  And  I miss talking to my mom.  


But don't let this fool you.  I am loving life down here.  When I keep moving and keep active, I am fine.  I don't even think about it (Ty was right).  But laying in bed, studying, I really miss them.  I am making some really great friends down here.  My RA and my whole floor is awesome.  I'm starting to workout.  Classes haven't freaked me out too much yet.  And I'm having a blast.  But I really just want to go home.  


I think that what freaked me out was when some girls were talking about next year.  I can't even imagine next year already.  Four years of separation is looonnggg..  But I don't have to think about this yet.  


I also think that Tyler's stress has affected me a little.  He was feeling overwhelmed with classes, and I just wish I was there to take care of it and make sure he is ok.  But I couldn't.  But it also made me realize how much he relies on me, not how much I rely on him.  Which is nice to know.. But I love how he supports me and my decisions.  I miss him so much.


But...technology is amazing!  I can talk to him and see his face and see my friends.  It's very awesome.   For example:

I am so in love.  And that's what I leave you with.

"Don't count the miles,

Count the "I Love You's'"

-Christina Perri

Happy BIrthday to me!

Yesterday was my birthday!  I am 19  years old.  However, I still feel 16.  I don't feel old enough to go to clubs, have no curfew, and to be away from home at Marshall University.  It just seems so weird.  


It was a really great birthday, though.  (Even though I thought it was going to be horrible.)   I woke up feeling very homesick.  Everyone had sent me texts in the night and Facebook had exploded, and I felt so weird knowing I wasn't going to see any of them.  What kind of birthday is it if you don't get a birthday kiss from your boyfriend and parents?  My mom had sent me a picture of my puppy, which didn't help.  I miss her terribly.  I got in the shower, dreading the rest of the day.


And then, I opened my door.  All the girls on my floor had decorated it!  I was so happy I couldn't even explain.  


I ran some errands with a friend from home, and felt better being out and doing something with a familiar face.  Then, when I came back to my dorm, my amazing roommate Alyssa had decorated my whole room with streamers.  She made a sash for me and got me a crown and had cupcakes and wrote me a birthday song.  It was the most amazing thing ever.  I've had a surprise like that on my birthday.  


Later on, I went out with some girls from my floor and my friends from home to Fat Patty's, which is amazing.  


Then, I did something I've never done, I went out at 11.  Woah.  Don't I have to ask my parents?  The girls took me to a gay bar to dance.   That was my first club experience.  I love to dance, but I don't think I'm going to be going dancing every weekend.  It's just too much for me.  I loved it at the time, but right now I'm just feeling weird about it.  It's not that I did anything I'm not proud of.  I danced with my friends.  I drank a red bull.  Saw a drag show, which I really loved because the Queens are so confident and I would love an ounce of that. But I don't think I'm that girl....the girl that goes out dancing.  I'm too chill.  Once in a while will be fine, and a stress reliever.  

WE ARE.....MARSHALL!!

Well the time has come.  Here I sit in my dorm room, yeah, I said dorm room.  I just wish my stomach would stop turning.  I feel fine for a while, then boom, I feel like I'm going to start to cry.  I wouldn't say I'm homesick just yet.  I'm just really really really nervous about....well...everything.  


BUT...I have my list of things I am excited for.  And I am excited for them.  I just want it to get started.  This whole WOW (Week of Welcome) is real boring and real slow.  I feel like it should be Saturday, but, it's only Thursday.  Ughhhhhh

The days turn to minutes and minutes to memories, Life sweeps away dreams that we had planned.  You are young and you are the future, so suck it up and tough it out, and be the best you can.

-John Mellencamp Minutes to Memories 1985

 

 

 

Let's talk about...

How stupid fast this summer went.  But, also, how rocking it was.  But that's not really what I want to talk about.  I feel like lately all I've been doing is focusing on the negative.  I've been super nervous about leaving next Wednesday...and I've been pretty much an emotional wreck.  I'm really just nervous about being alone, or at least, feeling alone.  And just being away from Ty.  It's not going to be fun.  However, there is so much that is going to fun. Sooo, I thought I should make a list of things I am really excited for.  Maybe it will calm my nerves.

1. Football games! Go Herd!!
2. Being super duper close to Naomi and Wayne.  That's a biiigggg comfort.
3. Being able to do my own thing on my own time.
4. Taking naps when I need them.
5. Getting to know my roommate.
6. Finding new friends.
7. Going to West Liberty and WVU to visit my best friends.
8. Strangely enough, the car trip home.  I love driving.  It de-stresses me.
9. Having a Starbucks on campus. :)
10. Having a bookstore on campus :)
11. Being able to workout and do Zumba, not even ten feet from my living space
12. The Marshall Artisan Series.  Cee Lo Green.  Young Frankinstein. Comedy Central on Campus!! Wooot
13. Going to basketball games!
14. Going to classes for my major.
15. I'm excited to discuss the books I needed to  read for First year Seminar. Im a geek

I could go on.  But, I need to shower because I am going out with Ty and Mason.  :)